Step out of your comfort zone . . . if you dare!

How to make the step

Comfort zones are of course very powerful, we all have them. It is often where a person feels they belong. To step out of that zone will raise the anxiety level, because of this many people stay within that zone, as it seems safe.

Highly successful people often step out of their comfort zone to develop and grow. As always in life you have a choice, if you are happy with where you are in life that’s fine.

If however, you feel your comfort zone is holding you back and you would like to challenge yourself, experience the wonderful feeling of playing/performing for sheer joy, without fear, and discover what’s possible when your mind is free- this is where I can help.

What happens when you step out of your comfort zone?

For a golfer they may be enjoying feeling relaxed and focussed as they are playing, suddenly to wake up and find after 9 holes they are way below their handicap, on course for an amazing score.

It is common for that player to become nervous or anxious because they have been playing better than they expected.

They are likely to then play tentatively and defensively to avoid making mistakes. As they retreat back into their comfort zone, they often lose confidence and focus, blow the back nine, taking them back where they belong.

It’s the same as a tennis player who finds himself with the upper hand in a match only to lose the game. When ahead, he changed his game to protect the lead, focused on not making mistakes, playing too safe, became fearful, tense and frustrated.

For a musician or performer the experience may be being asked to perform a solo, or take on a song or piece of music they may feel is too big for them.

The key to success

The key to improving is to regularly step outside of your comfort zone, pushing your limits by making and learning from your mistakes. Be prepared to tackle the things you can’t do, that may make you feel frustrated and incompetent in the knowledge that in the long term the rewards are great.

Your comfort zone will often tell you that you are not ready, when in reality we’re all more capable than we think we are.

I can help you find a way to put aside your feelings of anxiety and inadequacy and stop investing so much of your self worth in other peoples perception of your ability. Focus on being bold, daring, and playing for the sheer joy of it. You can then welcome stepping out of your comfort zone and see it as an opportunity to grow.

Common feelings when you dare to step outside of your comfort zone

  • I am not good enough
  • If I play really well people will expect much more of me next time
  • Will I have the time to practise to keep me at this new level?
  • If I commit myself to doing my best, I may find out that I am not as good as I think
  • Fear of failure

How to establish a new comfort zone

When our limiting beliefs and internal chatter force us to retreat, often willpower, determination and positive thinking isn’t enough. The subconscious programming that runs our life can steamroll our aspirations. Energy therapies like EFT can be used to deal with those negative feelings and rewire the messages that go to our brain, allowing us to step outside our comfort zone, develop and grow.

I am sure for some this may seem a little ‘New Age’ and I am writing this in my teepe half way up a mountain . . . I do live in Wales where there are plenty of mountains, but it does tend to rain a lot and how could I watch X Factor?

Sometimes in life something will come along and take your breath away. I am fortunate that in my work I regularly have that experience, that is the subtle power of EFT. I would to share what I have learned with you.

Pro golfer freed from self doubt and anxiety

One of the countries top amateur golfers I worked with had just turned professional. His challenge was he was finding it difficult to get a good warm up for the tournaments he was playing in.

Why? He felt he was getting in the way of the other professionals on the practise green and would stop his session early to make way for them. This meant of course that he struggled to play close to his potential.

He knew this was hurting his game, but whenever he tried to be strong, take his time and go through his routine, self doubt and anxiety would win every time.

Tackling the problem head on

In our session, I asked Paul* to imagine his next tournament standing on the practise green with other players waiting. The strongest emotion was that he was worried about getting in the way and not being good enough and the muscles in his shoulders were tense, tight. This scaled a 10 out of 10.

Focusing on the negative emotion we ‘tapped’ a few rounds.

I asked Paul to imagine stepping onto the practice green again, the number had dropped to a 5, he felt more relaxed. We did another couple of rounds of tapping. The number then dropped to 2, Paul felt it didn’t bother him now, was calmer more positive, the tension in his shoulders had disappeared.

With his mind clearer we introduced some positive affirmations on how he would ideally like to practise. This is the phrase we used; “I choose to focus on myself, what I can control I deserve to be here I respect the other players, but I choose to focus on getting myself prepared for the tornament, be relaxed calm, optimistic and enjoy the experience.”

At the end of the session Paul felt positive, excited and eager to get his clubs out and play.

In his next tournament he took time to make the best of his warm up and played a fearless round of golf – free from self doubt and anxiety

If you are ambitious and willing to practise outside of your comfort zone. Prepared to take on the challenge of pushing your limits, making and learning from your mistakes and experiencing the magic of daring to step out of your comfort zone – I can help!

What have been your expriences? What’s holding you back? If you would like my help just get in touch. Leave a comment or if you would like to speak with me in confidence, please email me at: sean@confidenceontap.com

*(not  his real name)

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