This is a chapter from my new book: ‘Freedom from Exam Stress’
CHAPTER 13
PUBLIC SPEAKING – RELEASE THE FEAR
Having to get up and speak in front of others is possibly one of the major dreads that people face around the world. The fear of being judged by others, making mistakes and being embarrassed, are all just examples of what this fear may be. The physical symptoms that betray you consist of blushing, sweating, shaking and the sudden inability to speak coherently. It’s no wonder most people avoid it if they can.
However, if you are a student you may need to take an oral exam, give a power point demonstration or possibly have an interview with a college/university. Perhaps you have an appointment with a prospective employer you need to impress.
If some of the above sounds familiar and you would like, when that moment arises to step up and speak well of yourself – I would like to help!
Unexpected Bonus
One of the countries top young tennis players I worked with helping to develop his mental strength, used tapping to help keep him focused and consistently play his best. In one of our sessions he told me he received an award in his school assembly and was asked to give a speech. Normally, he would dread this, knowing he would feel sick and his body would shake. Before he was called up on stage he used the subtle tapping points, he said felt calm, relaxed and enjoyed himself!
One of the reasons I use this example is it shows the amazing positive benefits of using EFT. We hadn’t spoken at all about him giving a talk, but knowing how to use this simple technique helped him enjoy that special moment in his life.
If you were asked to speak in front of a group, how would you feel? What are the strongest negative emotions? Scale the feelings from 0-10. 0 would reflect feeling calm, perhaps excited to give your talk. 8, 9 or 10 would indicate dread and fear.
We will now start to tap on the body’s acupressure points to help release your fears.
Using your index and middle finger, lightly tap your karate chop point and repeat all the phrases below.
“Even though just the thought of having to speak in front of others is making me feel sick, I accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though I am worried I will forget my words and start shaking, I accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though I get so embarrassed and hate it when I feel myself blushing, I accept myself and how I feel.”
Repeat the reminder phrase below as you tap on the body’s acupressure points. Start with the top of your head and follow through. Lightly tap about five times on each point. This is a very forgiving process, don’t worry about getting it wrong, just focus on the words and you should experience your worries fade away. Do the sequence twice.
“The thought of having to speak in front of others is making me feel sick.”
“I am worried I will forget my words and start shaking,”
“I get so embarrassed and hate it when I feel myself blushing.”
Take a deep breath. Imagine speaking in front of others and scale how you feel. You should feel a little calmer. To reduce the negative feeling even more we shall tap again introducing ‘still’.
Tapping the karate chop point, repeat all the phrases below.
“Even though just the thought of having to speak in front of others is still making me feel sick, I accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though I am still worried I will forget my words and start shaking, I accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though I still get so embarrassed and hate it when I feel myself blushing, I accept myself and how I feel.”
Repeat the reminder phrases below as you tap on the body’s acupressure points. Do the sequence twice.
“The thought of having to speak in front of others is still making me feel sick.”
“I am still worried I will forget my words and start shaking,”
“I still get so embarrassed and hate it when I feel myself blushing.”
Take a deep breath, scale yourself again how you feel about standing up and giving a talk. Hopefully that feeling of dread has lessoned and that stress you feel in your body is also less.
Now we’ll introduce some positive.
Tapping the karate chop point, repeat all the phrases below.
“Even though just the thought of having to speak in front of others is still making me feel sick. What if I could be calm and confident?”
“Even though I am still worried I will forget my words and start shaking. What if I could release that worry and trust myself?”
“Even though I still get so embarrassed and hate it when I feel myself blushing. What if this time it was easy?”
Repeat the reminder phrases below as you tap on the body’s acupressure points. Do the sequence twice.
“What if I could be calm and confident?”
“What if I could release that worry and trust myself?”
“What if this time speaking in front of others was easy?”
Take a deep breath. Imagine again having to stand up and speak. Scale how you feel, what is the number now?
At this stage when your mind feels clearer and you feel more confident we will now tap focussing just on the positive, using ‘I choose’.
Using your index and middle finger, lightly tap your karate chop point and repeat the phrase below three times.
“I choose to be open to the possibility that when it is time for me to give my talk I will be calm, confident, stay in the moment and speak well. I choose to trust myself, trust my intuition and know that this is an opportunity in my life to step forward and grow stronger. I choose to release those fears.
Repeat the reminder phrases below as you tap on the body’s acupressure points. Do the sequence twice.
“I choose to be open to the possibility that when it is time for me to give my talk I will be calm, confident, stay in the moment and speak well. I choose to trust myself, trust my intuition and know that this is an opportunity in my life to step forward and grow stronger. I choose to release those fears.”
Throughout your life there will often be occasions when you would like to make your point in a discussion. Within your career for instance, you may wish to give a presentation to showcase your talent and get that grade or job you deserve. As your career develops there will be opportunities to let your employers know your worth. When those opportunities arise I would like to help release your fears and let your voice be heard.
Important note: If you find as you work your way through the tapping script your negative intensity is not reducing, this simply means there is something specific and individual that we need to tap on. This is where it is extremely helpful to have a one to one session.
If this sounds familiar, I would like to help!
Leave a comment or if you would like a free consultation email me at sean@confidenceontap.com
If you’d like to buy or sample my new ebook which includes chapters on feeling overwhelmed, the inner critic and pre-test anxiety, click here: ‘Freedom from Exam Stress’